Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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