Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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