So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
