You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
