I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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