Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You've changed since you got that strap on
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
