He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
