She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
