Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
