you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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