Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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