i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
