YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
