i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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