no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
send nudes
from the living room?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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