I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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