please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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