Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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