Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
