That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
