He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
