PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
