Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
