but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
