Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You may now shotgun with the bride
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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