ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
