I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
