You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
