my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
