Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The struggles of a small town man whore
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
