Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
