I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize