She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
