Already got asked if we're dating
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
