The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
