I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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