tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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