sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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