Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
