you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
