I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
