p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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