they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
