apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
