That's intense
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
