somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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