i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
time to smoke my breakfast
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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