Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
