Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
