he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
