my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
