My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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