I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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