so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
