You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
