The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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