She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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