all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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