it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
