so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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