what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
