I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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